Enjoy the White House Program
The White House belongs to the American Taxpayers. The president is just a temporary tenant. Since we don't think that the White House is being used to it's potential, policies concerning it's use will change to benefit the American Taxpayers during "President Tony's" administration.
Change is nothing new at the White House not only because so many people have come and gone through the years but also because of interior redecorating and additions to the gardens and grounds that surround the White House. A little more change should not alarm anyone. It should be made clear, however, that the new changes will not affect business in the West Wing, Situation Room, or other areas that need to maintain a business like atmosphere.
The White House Visitor Center will most likely remain the same and keep the same schedule (the hours may be changed to 8:00am to 5:00pm) since there are thousands of American Taxpayers who take the opportunity to visit the White House.
The American Taxpayers are paying to heat and cool the many bedrooms and bathrooms in the White House so they should be used. (We have not been able to verify how many of each that there actually are. Estimates vary from 17 to 44 bedrooms and 30 to 35 bathrooms.) They will not be used to house rich lobbyists or friends of the legislators. Instead they will be used by the American Taxpayers who visit from out of state and want a real White House tour. This is where the "Enjoy the White House" program comes in.
Obviously there is not room in the White House for every visitor who comes to Washington, but we can help alleviate the financial strain for some. Therefore each week approximately ten families (this can be more closely determined once we figure out how many bedrooms and bathrooms there are) from a particular state - their names to be drawn through a lottery system of registered voters - will be allowed to take an all expenses paid vacation at the White House for one week (actually six days).
Yes, these folks will be staying at the White House along with their immediate families. If they do not have children of their own they will be asked to bring two children from their extended family or from friends of the family. A big part of this program is the education of children concerning the federal government and the early history of our nation.
Activities and various tours of the area will be provided at no expense. All food will be paid for and they will receive a generous allotment of spending money. All travel expenses will also be paid for. The lucky American Taxpayers who win this opportunity will not win some sort of cheap vacation package. This is designed to be a lavish vacation and they will be guests of honor at the White House. Not only will they receive everything free, but they will leave with assorted souvenirs, extra money in their pockets (unless they spend their entire spending allowance) and a sense of wonderment concerning how well they were treated by their government.
Among the souvenirs will be the linen that they used in their rooms while they were there (with their names, the Presidential seal, and the dates that they were there embroidered on them). Single mothers who are lucky enough to win this opportunity will not receive air fare home but instead will receive a new family vehicle, money to pay the insane sales taxes on the vehicle, and money for gas, food and hotels for her and her families trip home.
To be fair to all 50 states they will be taken in alphabetical order. This means that American Taxpayers from all 50 states will get to participate each year (the other two weeks per year will be used for maintenance). In theory about 500 American families will receive this benefit per year thanks to the "Enjoy the White House" program. That's about 500 more than are now receiving this benefit. If the American Taxpayers want the program expanded because of its popularity, then it will be expanded. Our guess is that they will.
The idea behind this program is not only to reward American Taxpayers for putting up with the federal government, but it is meant to allow many to see Washington from the inside (the tours will take them inside the government). The more taxpayers that are involved with this program, the more they will tell others. A government that is wide open to the people puts fears and suspicions to rest. A government that gives back to the people in a tangible way like this is good for national morale. A complete week off from the pressures of life will also be good for those who are lucky enough to win this opportunity. These American Taxpayers and their families will also learn much about American history and our founding fathers.
Since there will be many visitors coming and going at the White House - and many children indeed - the rooms that are open to the public will be redecorated accordingly. The "don't sit on me" furniture will be stored away and it will be replaced with furniture that is more appropriate for rugged use. Recreational facilities will be added such as an Olympic size swimming pool, an up to date children's play area, ping pong and pool tables, tennis courts, etc.
Since they will be in use even during the winter months they will be enclosed in an appropriate sized green house. That means palm trees, fountains and beautiful foliage can be added to beautify the area and enhance the stay of the honored guests - the American Taxpayers. The White House bowling alley will also be open for the guests to use. Elected representatives will be encouraged to mingle with the White House guests as their schedules allow so that the American Taxpayers can chat with them and get to know them better. Elected representatives will also be notified when one of their constituents is staying at the White House so that they can welcome them to Washington and answer any questions that the people might have.
Since the White House will be seeing so much activity there will be a need for a large staff due to the needs of the visitors. All White House staff will be "War on Terror" veterans who were crippled in action. Obviously we cannot hire all of those who were crippled while serving their country since the numbers are now up into the thousands but we can provide a few with jobs, since many of them will struggle competing in the marketplace against those with all of their limbs.
With that thought in mind, those with more severe disabilities will be given priority status. [Off the subject a bit, but those crippled in action in Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. will be given job priority status when other government jobs open up. The plan is to eventually provide jobs for all of those who were disabled because of their service to their country, as government positions come open. They may have to relocate to another part of the country but the government will do it's best to accommodate them. The presidential bodyguard and the staff members employed to protect the White House will consist entirely of veterans disabled in the line of duty. This is an easy decision to make since these men and women have already proven that they are courageous under extreme conditions.]
So who is going to pay for all of this extravagance and all of these vacations? The American Taxpayers would probably be glad to see their tax money pay for a program like this since it would mean less tax money for the Congress to waste, but they won't have to (at least the greatest percentage of it). The money will come from the television revenues that the "Meet and Vote" program generates.
If you have read about the "Meet and Vote" program already you will remember that it is based on nationally televised meetings between the American Taxpayers and their leaders. Television networks will be paying to broadcast these meetings because of the high ratings they will bring. Interested parties will bid on contracts to be awarded to the highest bidders. The televised meetings will have commercial breaks so that the television networks can recoup their investments just like regular television programs.
Perks for those networks who win the bidding on the contracts will include all types of access to the White House while those who have no interest in this opportunity will receive no access to the White House unless they pay the established fees for individual programming which will be separate from the contracts. [In the past the media has had free access to the White House. During "President Tony's" administration this will change because the television networks make money from everything they air. Therefore it is only fair that the media pay for this privilege. These revenues will all go into an account that will be used to pay for the "Enjoy the White House" program.]
If the contract scenario doesn't seem appropriate when the time comes for establishing the "Meet and Vote" program, a different method may be used, such as a set fee for all networks so that those with less money will be able to air the programming. A committee of volunteer American Taxpayers will be responsible for how this whole affair is handled, and for handling all of the finances so that the American Taxpayers will have no concerns about the money being wasted by government officials.
This program, the "Enjoy the White House" program, may sound like a nice perk for the American Taxpayers - and it is. No doubt it will bring great enjoyment to many and be an experience to remember for hundreds of children. The real meaning of the program, however, goes a little deeper than enjoyment and a week off for some American Taxpayers. It is actually meant to show our leaders who the White House really belongs to and that they are moving in.
American Taxpayers and their children moving about inside the White House all day every day - as occupants - will be a constant reminder to their leaders that things in Washington have changed. Really changed. Perfect furniture not meant to be used by the common folk and a wealthy "don't you wish you could be like this" atmosphere replaced by working people furniture, carpets worn from children running about, and a regular person atmosphere will indeed have a big effect on all of the suits running around Washington and will serve to remind them who they are and why they are there.
All of the crippled veteran White House staff will be like icing on the cake. They will be a constant and painful reminder to all that the reality of war is different for those who have to go and die compared to the reality of those who send them from their secure locations in Washington.
Surely Mr. and Mrs. Bush have kept the White House beautiful during their stay there. The American Taxpayers should be proud of them and thankful to them for that. In 2008, however, the American Taxpayers will get the opportunity to "Enjoy the White House". After all, they paid for it.
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