Vice President Bio
A note from "President Tony"
"Vice president Dale" is wavering! At first he said that he would run with me as the vice president. Then he decided that he just doesn't have the time. (Just between me and you "Vice President Dale" has a problem. His problem is that his wife, "Vice President's wife Jan", keeps having babies. Poor "Vice President Dale" is on his second family - and he's in his 50's. Holy cow, we've got to figure a way to keep those two apart.)
Well, I think I've got him talked into running but at this time I have to meet a deadline and get this material to the web designer so that he can put it up on the website. I'm still waiting to hear the final verdict from "Vice President Dale". I'm hoping for the best. If he chooses not to run I will be forced to expose his addiction to the whole country as a form of black mail. Just between me and you "Vice President Dale" has a real problem - besides his eternally fertile wife.
That's right, "Vice President Dale" is an addict. I can't talk about it too much here but just let me say that it involves spaghetti. A lot of spaghetti. It is a documented fact that "Vice President Dale" can eat more spaghetti at one sitting than anyone in the known universe. I've seen it with my own eyes! He scoffs when a mere 30 pounds is set before him. A 55 gallon drum of spaghetti is to him as a sandwich is to you or me.
As a lot of addicts do, "Vice President Dale" is in denial and attempts to hide the evidence of his addiction. It's gotten to the point now that "Vice President Dale" only wears red shirts so that the tomato sauce stains don't show (he tends to slobber a little, though some refer to it as drooling). It's a frightening scenario.
This presents a problem if he is to become the next vice president. "Vice President Dale" is not an immoral man nor does he have any "normal" addictions. But I suppose the real question is, "Can the White House sustain the possible scandals and accusations that a spaghetti addict might bring"? "Vice President Dale's" spaghetti addiction may force us to invade Italy since it is doubtful that there is enough spaghetti in the U. S. to fuel his addiction. This is no laughing matter! Another question might be, "Would the American Taxpayers be willing to go to war with Italy or Sicily to support "Vice President Dale's" spaghetti addiction?" These are hard questions that must be addressed.
We don't want to have problems with Italy or Sicily. So if "Vice President Dale" (finally) decides to run as the vice presidential candidate of the American Taxpayer party his spaghetti addiction will have to be addressed. National security cannot be compromised in this manner. As for his eternally fertile spouse, I'm not sure how they've made it through 30 (or more) years of marriage. She might be considered an "enabler" since she is the one who has been cooking all of this spaghetti through the years. May God forgive her for fueling "Vice President Dale's" spaghetti addiction.
[On a serious note, Dale Hastings (who lives in the great state of Kansas), who I've known for some 25 years, is a good compliment to my personality and gifts. We are quite different from each other but have always gotten along well. I can't remember ever having an argument with him! This vice president will actually be responsible for carrying out important work. He is more of an administrator than I am so I will saddle him with more duties along those lines (as long as it doesn't interfere with his spaghetti schedule).
He will need to use his gift of administration since I will be busy running around the country attending the "Meet and Vote" sessions (since we will try to address one issue per month I will be absent from Washington at least a week per month). He will be at some of the meetings but I will need to be at all of them, so I will pawn some of the presidential office duties off on him.]
[If Dale decides that he can't run on the American Taxpayer ticket I will forgive him - but only because I have to. I may never speak to him again (or at least for a week). I will also take it upon myself to force him and eternally fertile Jan into some kind of "stop having babies when you are old farts" therapy.
There are two other possible candidates that I have in mind if Dale can't find the time to leave the dinner table. There may also be a good candidate out there in internet world. Though I would prefer to run with someone that I have known for a long time the best candidate may be someone that I don't even know. Time will tell how this will all work out. I would ask all of those who want to support the American Taxpayer party movement to be patient. These things have a way of working themselves out.]
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